The Book Lover's Joke Book

My latest book is out now! Here's the blurb from the publisher (the British Library):

The Book Lover’s Joke Book is the funniest book about books you’ll ever read. You’ll find jokes about writers, agents, publishers, librarians, grammar, poetry, bookcases, and lightbulbs. There are rib-ticklers for typographers, crackers for critics, and badly foxed quips about antiquarian bookshops. Here too are the best literary April Fool’s (the joke’s on you), rejection letters (the joke’s on the publisher), cookbook jests (the joke’s a bit crumby) and wardrobe puns (the joke’s Narnia business). This delightful literary celebration will make every bibliophile laugh out loud, even in the library.

And here are some examples:

His new novel is called Nagb. It’s pretty controversial. In fact it’s bang out of order.

A man talks into a bar. You’ll have to leave, says the landlord, we don’t serve your typo in here.

My enormous plate of spaghetti got into the Guinness Book of Records. I’m having a devil of a job cleaning it off.

What do cows shout if they don’t like a play? Moo

How many Dylan Thomases does it take to change a bulb? None. They just rage, rage against the dying of the light.

- I fancy a curry tonight I think I’ll go for a Tarka Masala.

-  Don’t you mean a Tikka Masala?

- Nope, it’s quite similar, but it’s just a little ‘otter

This morning I forgot the French word for strawberry, so I had to look it up in a fraise book.

Louise Glück, Patrick Modiano and Kazuo Ishiguru go into a pub and order three pints of beer.

“That’ll be £21 please,” says the barman. “You know,” he says proudly, “we don’t get many winners of the Nobel prize for literature in here.”

“At £7 a pint I’m not surprised,” says Ishiguru.

I couldn't find the Mills and Boon section at the library so I asked the librarian and she told me I’d been looking for love in all the wrong places.

Available wherever good books are sold but ideally from your local independent bookshop.